Pay Yourself First, Find a Buddy, and Use Obstacles for Growth
Hi Folks! Connor and Nick here from Healthy Living With Nick and Connor. Thanks again for being on our email list, it means a lot, and we are excited to share our weekly email with you. We hope you enjoy it! Here is what we hope you take away from this one:
Paying yourself first is great financial advice, now it is time to apply this saying to your time. Do things you enjoy first, take care of yourself first, your to-do list can wait.
Institute the buddy system when you are tackling new goals and behaviour. We are stronger together, hold each other accountable, harness the power of positive feedback.
Obstacles will always happen, they are unavoidable, think of them as opportunities for growth.
Starter Mindset Tip: When it Comes to Time, Pay Yourself First
We have all heard the financial advice that came from the book “The Wealthy Barber,” by David Chilton to pay yourself first. Chilton advises us to have a percentage of our money automatically deposited into a savings account every time we get paid. Pay yourself first, see your savings grow, and you won’t even notice the reduced funds in your spending account because it never even gets there. This works great for finances, now it is time to apply this way of thinking to your time. Your time may just be the most important aspect to focus on when it comes to your life, health, and happiness. Life is busy, your to-do list is long, there is always something to do, and it is easy to keep postponing your interests. We have all said this, “I don’t have time today, I have too much to do, I will get to it tomorrow.” But when tomorrow comes, tomorrow is really busy too, and you end up saying it again, and again, and you don’t end up setting time aside to do what YOU want to do. We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there will always be something to do, your to-do list will never actually be done, there will never be a time when you are done with absolutely everything and have lots of free time, and that is okay. So, what we are asking of you is to accept that you will never actually finish your to-do list, be okay with that, and start carving out time in your day to focus on yourself. It is recommended to work on your most important project for the first hour of every day, and the most important project is you! If you take time for yourself early on in your day, you will feel better for the rest of the day. “So if a certain activity really matters to you, the only way to be sure it will happen is to do some of it today, no matter how little, and no matter how many other genuinely big rocks may be begging for your attention.” (Burkeman, p. 74)
Health Recipe: Activate the Buddy System
Timing: A few minutes to check in with a friend
Level of Difficulty: Easier to achieve goals with a friend
Serving Size: Start with small goals together, build from there
Spiciness: Mild. Your buddy will take the spiciness away from new goals
INGREDIENTS
You and a friend
REASONING AND BENEFITS
Taking on a new change or behaviour in your life can be a daunting task, especially when you don’t have anybody to talk to about it or do it with. When you are taking on a new challenge, or changing a lifestyle habit such as the way you eat, do it with somebody else because we are stronger when we work together. This will help you, and it has the added benefit of helping the friend or family member that you do it with. The mere act of telling someone else your goals, and having them check in with you will go a long way, and carrying out your goals together will supersize the benefit. Your actions influence the actions of the people around you, your actions can inspire your buddy to act. (McGonigal, p. 207) Now here comes the ever powerful inspiration loop. When your buddy is inspired by your actions, and causes them to act, you will then be inspired by their actions. Inspiration loop complete. Make sure to talk to your buddy on a regular basis. Talk about the challenges, talk about how you overcame them, help each other feel successful, teach each other, share your insights. Feedback is a powerful tool. The feedback that has the most power has 2 main aspects: it relates to something that you care about, and it’s in an area where you feel uncertain. (Fogg, 248) Health changes are things you care about, and uncertainty can surround these changes. Let feedback from your peers help propel you over the hurdles of taking on new health changes, institute the buddy system, and be stronger together. Humans are designed to work in conjunction with others, so why not take advantage of this when you are tackling your health? “The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” (Headlee, p. 221. Kipling, Law of the Jungle)
INSTRUCTIONS
Think about a new challenge or healthy behaviour you would like to apply to your life.
Think of a friend or family member you would like to do it with. Pick someone that works well with you, that you feel comfortable sharing with, and could benefit from this change as well.
Set up a plan to check in and encourage each other on a consistent basis. Maybe a quick message every day, or a phone call once a week, whatever works best for you.
PRO TIP: This doesn’t have to just be a health change, maybe it is a project you have always wanted to work on. There is a reason why we are writing this book and these health recipes together. Nick and I have discovered the benefit of working together on a project, and we couldn’t imagine doing it on our own now that we have experienced working together.
* You don’t always have to use the same buddy for all of your goals. Different friends and family members may be better suited to different goals, behaviours, and habits.
** Take turns teaching eachother about new goals or habits you want to apply to your lives. One of the best ways to learn is to teach.
*** Remember to pay yourself first during your day or week. Make sure to carve out time for yourself to achieve your goals before you tackle your to-do list. Your to-do list will always be there. Inspire your buddy by succeeding on the goal early on in your day or week.
Dessert Quote:
“The great law of nature is that it never stops. There is no end. Just when you think you’ve successfully navigated one obstacle, another emerges. But that’s what keeps life interesting. That’s what creates opportunities. Each time, you’ll learn something. Each time, you’ll develop strength, wisdom and perspective. Each time, a little more of the competition falls away. Until all that is left is you: the best version of you. As the Haitian proverb puts it: Behind mountains are more mountains.” — Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way” p. 172
Now we want to hear from YOU! Please let us know what you think of today’s newsletter, and send us an example of how you applied the health recipe to your life! We would love to share how you introduced this week’s recipe into your life’s unique menu. Thanks and have a great Sunday!
Sources:
Learn more about optimizing your life:
Burkeman, O. (2021). Four thousand weeks. Random House.
Learn more about the power of working together:
Fogg, B. J. (2019). Tiny habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. Eamon Dolan Books.
Headlee, C. (2020). Do nothing: Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing and Underliving. Hachette UK. Wolf pack quote from: Rudyard Kipling, https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poem/poems_lawofjungle.htm
McGonigal, K. (2013). The willpower instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. Penguin.
Learn more about tackling life’s obstacles:
Holiday, R. (2014). The obstacle is the way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. Penguin.
