Goal Moderation, Accepting Change, and What Virtues to Focus On
Hi Folks! Connor and Nick here from Healthy Living With Nick and Connor. Thanks again for being on our email list, it means a lot, and we are excited to share our weekly email with you. We hope you enjoy it! Here is what we hope you take away from this one:
Don’t feel like you always have to stop doing a habit or behaviour cold turkey. Set a goal to cut a behaviour out of your life, create a plan to carry it out, and celebrate the little victories when you start cutting down on that habit. Moderation baby.
Changes in your life happen on average every 18 months. Embrace them, be okay with being uncomfortable and uncertain. Find the positives now because when you look back on the changes later, you will probably be happy with the change.
Thinking about what you would want someone to say at your eulogy is more important than what you say on your resume.
Starter Mindset Tip: Moderation Instead of Cold Turkey
Is there something in your life that you want to stop doing or cut down on but you’re not sure if you would be able to? Firstly, amazing, just thinking about stopping something or cutting down is a great first step. We often think that we have to stop a habit or behaviour cold turkey, and if we can’t do that, then we have failed. Stop being so hard on yourself. If you can slowly start cutting back on that habit or behaviour a little bit at a time, then that is a huge win for you. Start feeling proud that you are starting to cut back, build some confidence to keep you going, and eventually you will be able to put a stop to the behaviour or habit. And hey, if you never actually stop the habit completely, but cut back significantly, then that is still a huge win. Our lives are about moderation, and our habits and behaviours are no different. If stopping this habit or behaviour is taking away a lot of your mental energy, or is beating you down, then switch that mindset of yours and be proud that instead of indulging in that habit all the time, you have instituted some moderation. Celebrate that moderation, and allow your mental energy to start tackling something else in your day, or another pesky habit or behaviour.
Health Recipe to Try Out: Don’t Be Afraid of Change or Your Big Life Transitions
Timing: When change happens, take some time to stop and think
Level of Difficulty: Easy to think about, but hard to face change sometimes
Serving Size: Small - Large depending on the size of the change
Spiciness: Change can be hard to accept, so this can get pretty spicy!
INGREDIENTS
Yourself, your mind, and those changes in your life
REASONING AND BENEFITS
There are few guarantees in life, but I think we can all agree that changes happening in your life is definitely a guarantee. So why is it that we struggle with change so much when we know that change is going to happen? The Buddha once said that it struck him as the greatest irony that the central characteristic of the universe is change, and this is the thing with which we are most uncomfortable. In order to be at peace, we must accept the impermanence of life and existence. (Brooks, 191) We talk about discomfort a lot throughout our recipes, and life changes can be pretty freaking uncomfortable. Do not always look at that as a bad thing. We are talking here about the changes that don’t permanently alter your health or quality of life. It has been said that we go through significant changes in our lives on average every 18 months. A lot of these changes are not our choice, and often go against what we want to actually happen. So we may not want them to happen, but when we look back on these unwanted changes, most of the time we will look at these changes as a success. These important changes that go on in our lives can be scary when they happen, they can be uncomfortable, but while you are in the middle of the change, try and look to the future to see that you will actually look back on these changes with a positive view of them. Painful transitions can often yield the greatest understanding of purpose in our lives (Brooks, 196).
INSTRUCTIONS
Recognize that you are going through a big change or life transition, and think about how that makes you feel. If it terrifies you or makes you very uncomfortable, that is okay.
Stop and tell yourself that it is okay to be uncomfortable, in fact, it may be better for you in the long run. Compare this change to other big changes in your life, and think about how those changes made you better off.
Look into the future. Think about how this change will make you better off in the long run. This is the hard part. Try to use these thoughts to make you feel better in the short term.
If you are still really uncomfortable with the change, that is okay. Remember, it is okay to be uncomfortable, it is okay to be uncertain, and just keep telling yourself that this may just be the change that helps you understand your purpose a little bit better.
PRO TIP: Think about your changes with regards to your intrinsic goals instead of extrinsic goals. Focus on fulfillment and relationships, not money, stuff, power, or reputation. If you look at these changes intrinsically, you will most likely be happier in the long run.
* Try and make a list of the possible positive outcomes from the change that is occurring even when you think it is a negative.
** Try not to feel like a victim, it is hard to find any positives and move on when you feel like a victim.
*** Remember, change is one of the only guarantees in life. It is hard to get ready for change when you don’t always know what it is going to be. The best way to be ready is by strengthening your mind. Be open to change, think about it logically when it happens, find the positives.
Dessert Quote:
“Resume virtues are professional and oriented toward earthly success, and they require comparison with others. Eulogy virtues are ethical and spiritual and require no comparison. These are what you really want to be talked about at your funeral. Leo Tolstoy: “Live in such a way that anyone can die without you having anything to regret. Live in such a way as to be always ready to die.” - Arthur C. Brooks, “From Strength to Strength” p. 103
Now we want to hear from YOU! Please let us know what you think of today’s newsletter, and send us an example of how you applied the health recipe to your life! We would love to share how you introduced this week’s recipe into your life’s unique menu. Thanks and have a great Sunday!
Sources:
Brooks, A. C. (2022). From strength to strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. Penguin.
